Hello Operator?
by Red Witch
Summary: More phone madness. Pietro teases Lance big time.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Brotherhood or X-men…This is just a collection of a few very weird thoughts that ran through my head after some over-consumption of caffeine. **

**Hello Operator? **

Lance paced back and forth in his room. "I'll call her. No, I shouldn't call her. But if I don't call her she'll think I don't care or something. But if I call her again she might think I'm desperate. I won't call her. I will. I won't. I will. I wanna call her. But what if she doesn't want me to call? What will she think? Of course, she thinks I'm a bit of a goof anyway…I won't call her. She'll think I'm stalking her. Right. Just play it cool. Be cool Lance. You're not some little geek who's never had a date before waiting for some girl to call him. You're Lance. You're the cool guy. The rebel who doesn't care what anybody thinks about him. I wonder if she's thinking about me right now? No, I won't call her! No way. Right. Oh forget it! I'm gonna call her!"

He stormed out of his room and went downstairs to use the phone. To his chagrin he found that Pietro was already using it. "Uh huh," Pietro twirled the phone cord. "I know. Uh huh. Yup. That's Lance."

"Pietro hurry up!" Lance said. "I wanna use the phone."

"Well wait your turn!" Pietro snapped. "No not you. Lance. Hey have you heard the latest dumb thing he did? He's started a scrapbook. Yeah. Of who? Who do you think? Who has he been drooling over the past couple of months? Got it in one! Yeah, he keeps it right next to his little baby blanket." 

"Pietro I wanna use the phone!" Lance fumed.

"Will you shut up?" Pietro snapped. "No not you. Captain Clueless over here. Yeah you liked the picture of him? Yeah it is pretty funny."

"What picture?" Lance asked.

"Oh yes he looks sooooo cute in his little suit of armor," Pietro mocked. "Remember when you dressed up like a knight and got yourself knocked out? That was a classic shot"

"Pietro get off the phone!" Lance reached for it. Pietro super speed slapped him.

"Wait your turn!" Pietro stuck out his tongue. 

"Pietro will you stop talking about me to your geeky friends!" Lance snapped. "Wait a minute…you have other friends?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that!" Pietro huffed. "As I was saying he's heading for a mental breakdown. Well he would be if he had a brain. Yeah. Really? I'll ask him. Hey Lance is it true you got detention for writing 'I Love Kitty' all over the boy's bathroom?"

"Shut up Pietro!" Lance growled. 

Pietro laughed and pushed Lance away again. "Yeah. I know. Yeah he does have a baby blanket. Oh excuse me, his woobie."

"Yeah well at least I don't sleep with Grover and the Muppet brigade!" Lance shouted, trying to grab the phone. "Give me that!" 

Pietro kept the phone away. "No nothing much is going on here. It's pretty quiet. You know. It's just another dull day around here."

Pietro stopped talking when Todd and Fred came around the corner. Both of them were banging together two coconut shells making horse noises. "Giddyap!" Todd laughed. "On Concord!" 

"We are the Knights Who Say Nee!" Fred laughed. 

"Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee! Neeeee!" They sang as they disappeared out of sight, laughing wildly. 

Lance and Pietro stared after them. "Okay," Lance said. "That's it. No more Monty Python movies in this house."

"Okay now where was I?" Pietro spoke back into the phone. "Oh. No just Toad and Blob acting like idiots again. Well I should be used to it considering how much time I hang around Lance."

"Pietro!" Lance snapped.

"Uh huh," Pietro looked at his nails. "You know him. He's always crying, 'Kitty I love you this' or 'I want my Kitty that!' It's really pathetic!"

"Pietro…"

"I mean you should see him at night before he goes to bed. He sings love songs in his boxer shorts. It's hysterical! Yeah I've got a tape of it. I'll send you one."

"Pietro get off the phone!" Lance snapped. "I wanna talk to Kitty!"

"Go right ahead," He handed him the phone. "Who do you think I've been talking to?"

Lance turned bright red. He took the phone. "Hey Kitty," he said weakly. "I'll call you back later…"

Pietro laughed and zipped away. **"PIETRO!" **Lance screamed. **"You can run, but you can't hide!"** Lance dialed again. "Hello operator? I'd like to report a crime! I'm going to kill my demented housemate!" 


End file.
